So I've avoided writing long enough. I figured it's time to get back to reality.
Thursday night was amazing. I would have cherished each moment more carefully had I known that it would be the last time I would see him.
Friday his parents found out he was talking to me. And once again I am forbidden to see him. Am I being punished? Possibly. But I've found ways to deal. I need strength to keep me going. And I know how to get it. I wouldn't call it a relapse exactly. Just revisiting past memories. No one even understands though. I don't cut to die. I cut to prove to myself that I can push though life, through pain, and through whatever God throws at me. It gives me strength. It's what I need.
Bleeding and a nice long bath.
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