Who would've guessed?

Oh joy.

So he didn't tell his mom yet. At least not that I know of which, trust me, is a good thing. The only reason I'm drawing that conclusion is because he's actually still talking to me. His mom hasn't taken his phone... yet. Of course considering he's about to turn 19 I doubt she could have that kinda control if he really decided that her taking his phone is not the best of ideas. Hmmm. 19 and about to leave for the war in Iraq. Hopefully Obama will deem it necessary to pull out of the war saving both me and his family grief. I think that maybe the only thing me and his family will ever agree on, considering his family loathes me.

School is utterly boring. I'm contemplating this Friday and whether or not my plan to sneak out all night Friday is going to work. So its not technically sneaking out considering the fact that I'm using Izzy as my excuse.

"Daddy? Since me and Izzy didn't get to hang out on Tuesday do you think I can go to the mall on Friday afternoon, hang out with her there, and then go back to her house to spend the night?"

He'll buy the excuse which means I'll meet my Lover at the mall Friday afternoon. We can hang out at the mall all afternoon. Then we will have all night to talk and catch up. Not to mention get in slight amounts of trouble. More than likely we will chill at Wal-Mart until 3 in the morning and then go to Waffle House. Oh the joy. Of course, judging by his neediness, I'm willing to bet that he has other plans.


I will say that my goal is to marry the the only man, well boy at the time, that I've ever made love to. I'll venture out to say that I was only 14, just barely 14, but I was in love. That fact cannot be denied. I loved him, and now that he's come back into my life, I feel as though, maybe, just maybe, there was a reason for it. Could it simply have happened by chance or was it, perhaps, fate?

I will not deny the fact that there have been others in the past two years who have graced my mind and my body, but the circumstances at the time just were not right. It never happened. Not because there was not a chance, but either because, in the first case, it just was not right for me, in the second, it wasn't right for him, and in the latest, we were simply comfortable being together. Nothing else was needed or required. I've only ever found that contentment with him, with my best friend.

I also will not deny that sudden need to marry this boy, not even out of love, but because of the fact that I have given him a part of me that I will never get back. That in itself seems enough reason to marry him. He makes me laugh. He is well company. I could not ask for true love. That seems to be asking too much in this world right now. He would keep me happy and no doubt he would love me. Probably too much, but, from past experiences, it would be more obsession. Love may not be the right word. I know he would lust for me. He would desire me. But that true, respectful, adoration that can withstand anything? That love? That is something I'm not entirely certain we would obtain. Even still, however, I would not mind. He would comfort me when I needed and leave me alone when I needed that as well. He would spend many long hours admiring the fact that I am his. And that would be enough to please me.

I know this doesn't seem normal for those other teenagers falling to their knees, begging for their one true love. I use to be one of them, but now it seems as though there are more important things in life than just love.

Who would've guessed?